he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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