I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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