I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We were destined to go to rehab together
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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