I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize