He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize