Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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