You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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