My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
i believe in u and ur pee
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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