i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
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You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
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did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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