Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
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His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
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to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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