Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize