This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
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I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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