Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
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he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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