Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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