I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
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Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
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There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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