His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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