When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize