You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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