i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
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Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
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I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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