Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize