I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
this just has baby written all over it
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
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She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
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On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Enjoy the penises
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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