New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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