in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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