There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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