the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
