Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
