1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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