He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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