So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
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I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
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nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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