think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
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The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
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YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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