I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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