I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize