i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I am spending my child support on dildos
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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