hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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