I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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