So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
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