so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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