I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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