i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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