The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize