his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
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She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
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Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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