Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize