U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
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it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
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Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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