Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
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I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
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my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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