there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize