when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize