I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize