i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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