This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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