her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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