i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize