Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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