Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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