I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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